Reclaiming Your Energy - When Time Doesn't Feel Your Own

I love this picture.

It isn't me. It's a free stock image.

But every time I see it, I exhale.

I smile. I soften.

She looks like she's feeling the cool breeze on her skin after a long, hot summer. That first moment of relief. The moment your shoulders drop, your jaw unclenches, and you remember that you're here.  And that there is still good in this world.

I felt that same breeze a few mornings while walking my dog.

It wasn't dramatic, but it felt significant.

Nothing around me had changed except a lovely drop in temperature.

But for a moment, I returned to myself and felt relief.

Lately, I've caught myself repeating a phrase in my mind:

"My time is not my own."

Usually it comes while I'm picking up after my kids for what feels like the millionth time. Folding another load of laundry. Washing another sink full of dishes. Chauffeuring to activities. Feeding everyone—including the dog. Tending to my family, my home, and all the little responsibilities that quietly fill every corner of the day.

Sometimes I feel frustrated because there isn't enough time to tend to me.

Sometimes, I even feel angry.

You see, it’s complicated because I also genuinely love caring for my family. I feel purpose in it. I'm grateful that I have the time to be present with them.

But both things can be true. And it's healthy and oh so important to tend to both realities. Yin & Yang. 

That tension, I think, is something many caregivers know well.

Whether you're raising children, caring for aging parents, supporting clients or patients, managing a household, or simply carrying the emotional weight of everyone around you or at a demanding or toxic workplace—it's easy to spend far more energy giving than receiving.

When we extend ourselves over and over without replenishing, frustration has a way of quietly turning into resentment.

At our recent Relaxed Woman's Book Club, we explored concepts from Fierce Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff.

One chapter that stayed with me was about anger. (Something I’m uncomfortable with and shy away from - must be the myth that Yogis must be Zen all the time ;) Although, it’ could also be societal condition of the way women are expected to be.)

We often think of anger as something negative, something to suppress or to be ashamed about. 

But anger is simply another emotion.

Like all emotions, it's information.

It often appears to protect us, to alert us that something important needs our attention.

Kristin Neff writes:

"Anger provides a sense of personal control and empowerment. When we are angry and engaged in changing things for the better, we're no longer a helpless victim... Anger reminds us that we have a powerful voice in how we choose to live our lives."

That perspective shifted something for me.

Instead feeling shame that I was angry or that I didn’t have the capacity to deal with what I was experiencing…

I began asking,

What is this feeling trying to protect?

For me, the answer was clear.

It was telling me that my Yin and Yang had drifted out of balance.

That I had been pouring out without space to intentionally receive.

That my expectations and schedule needed adjusting.

That I needed to express my own needs and tend to them.

Anger isn't only played out by exploding, throwing the dishes, and walking out. 

It's about active listening to ourselves. 

It's the Yang energy that helps us advocate for ourselves, create healthier boundaries, ask for help, and make small changes that bring us back into balance.

That cool breeze during my walk reminded me of something, too.

I didn't need to run away, quit, or “peace out” of the situation with a middle finger (although I'd like to normalize this fleeting fantasy that I bet most people have had at one point or another!). 

I simply needed to receive something in the middle of it.

A breath.

A breeze.

A quiet walk.

A few moments where nothing was being asked of me.

Sometimes overextending is part of the season we're in.

Motherhood.

Caregiving.

A demanding career.

Life isn't always going to slow down because we ask it to.

But even in the busiest seasons, we can intentionally create small moments to receive.

Those moments don't erase our responsibilities.

They restore our capacity to meet them.

Giving is inevitable. Receiving is intentional.

And often, from that steadier place, we're better able to recognize what truly needs to change, advocate for ourselves, or ask for the support we need.

That reflection inspired me to create a small gift for you.

A 7-minute guided meditation called Reclaim Your Energy When Time Doesn't Feel Like Your Own.

You'll find it waiting for you in the Rest Library whenever you need a small return to yourself.

Because your time may not always feel like your own.

But you are worthy of moments that belong completely to you.

With Care,

Kinzie
Healing Routines

Rest. Ritual. Return.

P.S. If this story reminds you of someone who could use a little rest, wonder, or encouragement, I'd be honored if you shared it with them.