Consistency Isn't What You Think It Is ( and what it actually looks like in real life).
Consistency Isn’t What You Think It Is
(What it actually looks like in real life)
The last 6 weeks have looked different for me.
To be honest… shit hit the fan.
It’s been a cascade of WTF moments requiring some significant life skills—
surrender, permission to grieve, self-compassion, present moment awareness…
and breathing. Lots and lots of breathing.
Life also asks us to hold duality.
Have you ever thought:
This is the absolute worst… and wow, isn’t that sunset amazing?
How will I ever get through this… and wow, that person was so kind my heart is swelling?
Here’s a glimpse of my last 6 weeks:
My dad had a serious cardiac arrest.
We left for Mexico.
We got stuck in Mexico.
My dad got better and was on the mend at home.
My sweet 20 year old soul kitty died.
I was flooded with gratitude for the outreach of animal lovers—validating my grief with kind words, cards, and little memorials.
My dad got pneumonia.
My girls had some really beautiful dance competitions.
My dad got better again.
My dad’s dog died.
And now… it’s a beautiful spring day.
Whiplash.
And like physical whiplash after an accident… sometimes you don’t feel it until later.
I’m feeling it now—
in my stomach,
in my energy,
in my emotions.
I honestly have not cried this much in my adult life. I think I cried my eyelashes off. And what I really wept for was the stark realization of our morality, that everything in life is temporary, and that grief runs as deep as the love felt.
And somewhere in the middle of all of that…
I noticed something about consistency.
I think we’ve been taught that consistency means doing something every day.
Sticking to the plan.
Following through no matter what.
But that hasn’t been my experience.
Through all of this, I’ve been reminded that consistent self-care doesn’t mean doing the same thing every single day.
It doesn’t mean:
working out every day
cooking every meal at home
sticking perfectly to a routine
checking all the boxes before bed
And it definitely doesn’t mean you’ve failed when you don’t.
Consistency, for me, has started to look like something else:
Returning after I’ve drifted
Letting things be simple
Choosing what I need today—not what I planned last week
Coming back to what nourishes me, again and again
Consistency in routines is really about consistently returning—
to the present moment,
to the question: what do I need right now?
and trusting the answer.
Sometimes that looks like breathing.
Sometimes it’s rest.
Sometimes it’s choosing the food that actually feels supportive.
And can I be honest for a second?
There have been seasons where organic celery juice felt like nourishment.
This season? It’s Diet Coke.
I saw a reel calling Diet Coke a “fridge cig” and laughed so hard.
I used to be so anti-pop I wouldn’t allow it in my home (my husband had to hide it at work). But then I’m sitting in the ICU next to my dad, I blew my entire planned budget with a 3 day flight delay, and my freaking CAT dies, and by golly… a little Diet Coke is self-care right now.
And honestly? It’s probably the stress that gets you—not the aspartame.
(Coming from someone recovering from a bit of orthorexia.)
And in harder seasons… consistency softens even more.
It looks like:
breathing instead of fixing
resting instead of pushing
asking for support
letting “enough” be enough
I can feel myself returning now.
There’s a bit more space. A little more energy. The Qi is returning.
I worked out for the first time in 6 weeks yesterday—and it felt good.
Not forced. Not “should.” There was energy behind it.
I’ve started walking my dog again and actually enjoying it.
I planned a meal and feel excited to cook it tonight.
And today, I chose a big glass of electrolytes over Diet Coke…
(but let’s be clear—I’m not going to feel bad if I crack one open later).
So if you’re in a hard season…
Consistency might not look like doing more.
It might look like:
holding your pain
allowing space for tears
placing a compassionate hand on your back
and simply getting through the next step
It’s not about the habits you keep or break.
It’s about how you show up for yourself in the middle of it all.
And I notice this the most at night.
At the end of the day—when everything catches up.
When your body is tired but your mind is still going.
When you think about everything you didn’t do.
What if consistency at night wasn’t about a perfect routine…
but simply returning?
Placing a hand on your body
taking a breath
and reminding yourself:
I’ve done enough
I have enough
I am enough
I hope this helps.
I hope you laughed a little.
And I hope the next time life feels like a lot…
you remember that consistency can be soft.
That you can surrender to the flow,
anchor into your breath and the present moment,
and meet yourself with the same compassion you would offer a friend, a child, or someone you love.
I’m here. Walking through the duality of life right with you.
And if you’re needing support—whether you’re in a hard season or just tired from day-to-day life—I would love to hold space for you - so you too, can return.
With Care,
Kinzie